Push your cuticles, button your dress
Polish and shine your shoes
Make sure your comb all your flyaway hairs,
Whoever made up all these rules?
You must always be polite and ladylike
Always match your briefs to your bra,
Always do this, always do that
Sometimes I think it’s too far!
We spend hours getting all dolled up
With false eyelashes, false nails and false tan
Sometimes I think life would be easier
If I were to just be a man!
Don’t misconstrue my point though, I pray
It’s nice to make yourself pretty
But it can be hard work, so if someone complains,
Just recall this little ditty
Girls have to fart, Girls have to burp,
Girls have to scratch their bum
Girls even get sweaty every now and then
So don’t let it make you glum.
Just kick off your heels, girls, be free at long last!
Actually let down your hair!
Even if only for just a short while
Have a day off from control-underwear.
Instead of saying ”I need to powder my nose”
Just shout “Oi! I’m off t’ loo”
There’s no need to be embarrassed or ashamed,
Why, even the Queen has to poo!